Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Wednesday 27th March 2013…….Day 14 part 1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to pass on my sympathies to the family of a man I met years ago Roger, who passed away yesterday…Roger and his lovely wife Alice stayed in my condo one winter when I was in Mexico…he was a lovely man….blessings to the family!!

Had a great sleep and the sun is shining but it looks a bit cold…I feel like I am back in Mexico my lovely host Jackie just brought me a fresh squeezed orange juice!!!

I have a leisurely morning and then Jackie is going to drive me downtown to the Mexican consulate where I have a 12 noon appointment.  I am pretty sure I will not get the visa today and that I shall have to return next week for it.  After the appointment I shall take a bus out to the ferry terminal for the trip over to the Island where Heather is going to pick me up……so more tonight.

 

Thanks Inga for the morning smile!!

On being a SENIOR!!!!

.

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer:
6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday.
Question:
When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer:
Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.


Question:
How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer:
Only one, but it might take all day.
Question:
What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer:
There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question:
Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer:
The term comes with a 10% discount.
Question:
Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer:
Tied shoes.
Question:
Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer:
They are the only ones who have the time.
Question:
What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer:
NUTS!


Question:
Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer:
They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question:
What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer:
Normal .


Question:
What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer:
The never ending Coffee Break.


Question:
What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer:
If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question:
Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer:
He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
And, my very favorite....
QUESTION:
What do you do all week?
Answer:
Monday through Friday, NOTHING..... Saturday & Sunday, I rest.

SERENITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?


Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

'And what do you think is the best thing

about being 104?' the reporter asked.

She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'


The nice thing about being senile is

you can hide your own Easter eggs.


I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,

new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes.

I'm half blind,

can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,

take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,

so I got my doctor's permission to

join a fitness club and start exercising.

I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.

I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my leotards on,

the class was over.


An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and

told her preacher she had two final requests.

First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,

she wanted her ashes scattered over
Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Why Wal-Mart?'

'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'.


My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging?

Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises

as your coffee maker.


These days about half the stuff

in my shopping cart says,

'For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people

I never liked anyway,

the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and

the eyesight to tell the difference.



Always Remember This:

You don't stop laughing because you grow old,

You grow old because you stop laughing

The journey so far!!!

image

I don’t have the art of cut and paste and paint mastered yet and how to make changes so this is my route so far but you have to ignore the blue line on the right hand side from 2 go across to 3….I am open to lessons and advice…hope you have a great day!!!  Les

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