Wednesday 1st August 2012….Rabbits, rabbits, rabbits!!!!

This room does not have air conditioner but a ceiling fan and I prefer that…. set it to low last night and had a great sleep and as usual the call to prayer wakes me up but I really like it….again the hotel provides breakfast so I had my cereal and fruit on the outside terrace with this as my view…

I had arranged to meet Abdullah at 9.50am at the hotel and he walked me to the city gates

to show me where to come on Friday for the bus as the bus cannot come into the small town.  He made a phone call and a courtesy van arrived he shook my hand and I have arranged to meet him tomorrow for the scooter rental and off I go for my Turkish bath adventure!!!!!

Believe me the following is no exaggeration this is what really happened….I am in the front seat of the Mercedes luxury van and the driver is obviously related to Mario Andretti!!!!  He was driving absolutely nuts..I mean I don’t mind a thrill and a good fast car ride but this man was dangerous…..I turned to him and told him to slow the heck down and he just hunched his shoulders and kept on going.  I do not know if he understood English or not he made out like he didn’t…I told him again to slow down and at the traffic lights that were red I opened the car door and said you either slow down or I get out!!!!    Ok OK he said and then roared off again but within 200 meters he stopped outside another hotel and picked up another couple and would you believe when he drove off with us he was going as sedately as possible…go figure….we arrived at the Prestige VIP Haman and walked inside and I knew right away this was not what I wanted…there must have 40 tourists in the lobby!!!!!

We we then separated into groups and told to follow the attendant..it was what I imagine the Chicken Ranch in Vegas or a meat packing plant assembly line to be like.  We were given a numbered wrist key to our own  locker where we left everything kept my shorts on and put a towel around my waist and herded into a sauna, me and about 20 others and were told to stay in there 15 minutes…me with my little bit wonky heart saunas are not the best and after about 10 minutes I walked out..I was immediately approached by an attendant who told me I had to go back in and to keep on schedule……I looked him right in the eye and said no way and sat down on the couch outside the sauna……when my group came out we were herded, I use this word because that is how I felt, into a steam bath room…. again with 20 others and this was even hotter than the sauna.  I lasted 5 minutes in there and walked out where I met the same guy and we had the same conversation which ended with me saying..NO WAY!!!!  Again I sat down and waited for my group and we then taken into the Turkish bath room…wish I had photos this was a huge room with a huge slab in the middle and about 12 attendants in shorts who took us in turn and laid us down and vigorously rubbed us and then lathered up and washed us, they showed about as much enthusiasm as my big toe…this process lasted 5 minutes….I honestly felt like part of a revolving line of food being moved down a conveyor belt.

Next stop was the relaxation room they called it…it should be aptly named the rip-off room…this is where this very pleasant multi lingual man asked if we wanted a drink I asked for a water…then would I like a facial this would be extra 10 Euro (this peeves me because here we are in Turkey and their currency is the Lire and they are quoting Euros but everything in town is the same way)..I said no thanks.  then it was do I want to have the feeding fish treatment for the feet… again this was 10 Euro and I said no…then it was did I want an extra massage this would be 20 Euro and if I did not have the money it could be charged to my Hotel..I said no.

After 15 minutes in here again a room full of other people laying around I was escorted into Massage room Number 1…….and you thought this story weird so far…you ain’t read nothing yet!!!!!!!

In the room  is another tourist having a massage and my attendant comes in and I ask him if it is possible that I get a female attendant..he very quickly says no!!!!

Now perhaps with that statement I did offend him or some law..anyway….

So I lie on my face and he rubs my left leg and then my right leg maybe 70 seconds total…then he rubs my back and when he gets to my lower shoulder blade he presses so hard he hurt me and I yelped(is that a word?)

He immediately says you have big problem there and I thought you are so right guy you hurt me like that and I have a problem duh!!!!

Anyway he leaves the room and in a couple of minutes comes back in with another guy who looks like a slick dude off the cover of a man’s magazine!!

He tells me he is the medical therapist and that I have a problem and he wants to examine me…he proceeds to press really hard on the balls of my feet and I am to tell him if it hurts…..Yes it bloody hurt I told him….he then presses my calf and say a big problem there too and then he gets to my back presses and I shout at him stop!!!!  He says you have serious problems with your lower L 4 and lower L5 and sciatic nerve…I said I have problem because you are hurting me when you press so hard on my body!!!!

So he tells me that he can do a massage that will relieve the pressure because I was really unhealthy..he asked me what I did for a living……by now I was as angry as I have been in years and I tell him I am a lawyer from New York and I a leaving and I got up and left them in the room.

I went and opened my locker got dressed and as I try to leave the two guys are there saying I owe 4 Euro for the drink, not Lira EURO!!!!!  I smiled and put 2 Lira on the counter and said I am done here and I walked out and forgo the ride back with the limo driver and walked home…..it took me about 90 minutes and I needed that time to decompress….as great as my Turkish shave was yesterday this was one of the ugliest moments of my life!!!!!

I needed still to vent so I packed a lunch and went to the beach of course seeing this did not help

how people can enjoy being lined up like soldiers is beyond me anyway I walked a couple of miles found a quiet place had lunch had a swim and started laughing!!!!!!

It was like out of a movie a good experience!!!

 

Spent a lazy afternoon and this town is crazy here are all these tacky shops and you turn a corner and see something like this…

incredible ruins steeped in history..I walked the town a little and then came home and read and then went out to eat.  I found a great lace that had a huge screen TV and I watched an Olympic soccer game

the meal was good!

I was thinking more about the deal I got to go to Cappadocia on Friday it is really a good deal…I know I shall be with a small tourist group but for me to go there and have two nights stay plus meals is huge when I think how I would have done it on my own.

I know I have gone on a bit how tedious this town is but it must be OK because it is packed with tourists and they all seem so happy…I love the fact that you can turn a corner and there is part of a ruin.

Tomorrow is scooter day and hopefully a waterfall and a canon.

So a bit of a day!!!

I am still smiling!!!!